Day 3: The 30th of July

Things didn’t go entirely to plan. For starters, both myself and my mother woke up later than we expected, resulting in our plan of going out today being tragically foiled. Well, maybe for her. Personally I relish every day I get to laze around doing nothing. Usually I prefer doing it on my own terms though.

You see, yet again I was dragged into playing Archeage and, though I did play a reasonable amount, I will refrain from mentioning it after yesterday’s boring ramble. Instead I will talk about something completely different before I continue with today’s story.

I may have mentioned this before, but I have loved solitude for a number of years now. That feeling you get where no one is around to judge your actions and you are free to do whatever you like is one I rarely get around other people, even those I am very close to. I guess this boils down to – dare I say it – my confidence issues. Which, despite being told many times that everyone faces a lack of confidence, are still a right nuisance. The fact that I have to try and stay completely cool and keep up a persona in front of my own family at times is a bit depressing. Judgement is a thing that we all do as humans and I always tell other people that it doesn’t matter what others think of you. Now all I wish is that I could take my own advice.

Enough about that though, onto the rest of the day. As usual every Thursday, at 7 PM I learn a martial art called Wing Chun with my sister and her husband down at a local building about 10 minutes away by car. I have been attending this martial art for some time now, by my stunted reckoning about 6 or 7 months and, while I dread actually having to leave to go to it, I do enjoy both learning it and the people I have met there.

Today there was a new man in class, trying out Wing Chun for the first time. It also just so happens that I was the only person in class when he arrived. However, to my shock and awe I actually managed to keep a conversation going in a semi-relaxed manner until my brother-in-law Ben came in, relieving me of my duty. I was especially proud due to the fellow’s soft spoken manner making it nearly impossible to understand what he was saying at times. Maybe I am just going deaf in my old age.

Anyway, it was a pretty relaxed lesson as they typically are when new people join the class and I wound up learning some student level 11 stick defence, despite being student level 3, due to the fact that I will not be attending a grading before I very possibly head off to university later this year.

That was really all that happened today. My hopes for a fun, interesting thing to write on this blog have been dashed once again. Who knows, maybe this blog will be the thing that finally gets me to start doing interesting things, only to fill the otherwise bland and uninteresting pages that I’m sure no one will read.

With that, I will take a bow and take my leave. Have a good one, readers!

Elliott Rogers, novice blog writer extraordinaire.

Day 2: The 29th of July

Well, waking up at 3 in the afternoon sure feels good. Until you realise that you have already wasted most of one of the finite days of your summer holiday. Oh well.

So, after waking up today I decided, as usual, to spend the remaining hours doing nothing of use. Starting off with playing some Archeage (a freemium MMO) with two of my friends. And during this time I got to thinking about the things that made me quit playing MMOs in the past.

You see, Jake (one of my friends) had joined one of the largest guilds on our server yesterday, leaving the guild that he and I had personally made together not long ago. Today, he asked if I wanted to join, but I declined. Guilds have always been a bit of a weird point for me; I’ve always liked the idea of meeting new people online, yet I instantly become quiet and awkward once I am in a position to try.

The main reason I leave MMOs is, I believe, due to guilds. Usually I only quit an MMO once I have reached max level and am just about to reach the real meat of the content, involving improving your build, pvping and running high level dungeons. Joining a guild is rather essential to being able to experience the game to the full, as most events cannot be ran without having at least a small party. Yet, while being in a large guild seems to only be beneficial, I feel it leads to problems.

The first problem is what you face if you decide to make your own guild into a larger one. This leads to a situation where you feel obliged to log on every day, not to enjoy the game but to just do the work you need to do. This has led me to feel, in the past, frustrated, and has caused me to completely drop MMOs in the past, such as Guild Wars 2. I know this isn’t really the fault of the developers of these games, this is really my own issue in that I cannot really act well in social situations.

The second problem involves being in a large guild. Most MMOs involving a guild system have only several top guilds per server, each usually competing with each other. Furthermore, they all usually run TeamSpeak servers as a sort of boundary between an amateur guild and a professional one. This isn’t a problem in itself, there is usually no requirement to be on the TeamSpeak, yet the fact is that if you cannot make yourself stand out in the guild you get swamped by a beast much larger than yourself. You end up being merely another useless component in the running of their system.

Maybe this is all to do with my own problems. Maybe I go into MMOs with the wrong mindset, believing I have to stand out and be a cool, funny guy in order to make any friends at all. But even if that is the case, it is something I will have to learn to live with if I am to enjoy playing these games with my friends at all.

After that long ramble, I guess I should continue with this daily post, assuming anyone is reading at all. After my gaming session, where my friends all went offline leaving me, the only one without a life, to try and entertain myself, I ended up sitting in blissful solitude, mindlessly questing and listening to various videos on YouTube. I find this to be the most peaceful part of my life, where I don’t have to do anything but think and laugh. But that is a topic for another, hopefully less boring post.

So, that is really all I did today, given my late waking up time. Tomorrow I shall be heading out to explore where my mum grew up, down in Clapham. Should be at least more interesting than today, even if it does mean waking up early again to catch the train.

Signing off,

Elliott Rogers, novice blog writer extraordinaire.

Day 1: The 28th of July 2015

Today I was rudely awoken at around 6 AM in order to go swimming down at the local swimming pool, an activity I had agreed upon yesterday with my mother, despite knowing full well that the human body does not function well at that time in the morning.

After an angry struggle with my sheets, which ended with me staring at the ceiling with the acknowledgement that; yes, I will have to get up, I stumbled into the bathroom and got ready as best one can with around 4 hours of sleep.

Heading out to the pool at 7 AM with my mum and my brother-in-law woke me up enough to understand the situation at hand. After a brief run in with the person on the front desk, where he seemed unsure whether or not to ask me or my mum if I was still a student – indeed, how awful! – I had a rather nice little morning workout, doing around 40 lengths of breaststroke, my stroke of choice.

Despite the satisfying ache in my abdominal muscles, I find it doubtful that I could make going swimming a routine, I am much too lazy for that. This is especially apparent since for the rest of the day I was exhausted and growing increasingly irritable with my friends, who, upon my arrival back home after a stop off at the New York Coffee Club, instantly messaged me on Skype and Steam to request that I play games with them.

Although today was a pretty boring day in truth, certainly not something worth reading about, it was about the most active I’ve been in two weeks and, since it was also today that I began this blog, it is only fitting to start it at the lowest point of entertainment.

After all, it can only go up from here… right?

A Beginning and an Introduction

Let me start by saying that I have never written a diary or blog before. This is an important thing to note if anyone ever reads this, which is doubtful.

My name is Elliott Rogers and I started this blog with the sole purpose of allowing myself some time at the end of each day to reflect on life so far. I guess the main reason I did it this way and didn’t post my thoughts upon the great billowing clouds of Facebook is that I am holding onto the vain impression that writing a blog is somehow less selfishly narcissistic than allowing people who know me in reality to see my thoughts and feelings.

I mean no offence to anyone running a blog; I mean I personally feel that a healthy dose of self love is an important part of keeping your mental state balanced, although I may take that idea to the extreme at times.

So, yes. Despite my abundant use of paragraphs, I guess that is the end of my first ever blog post. I promise to make a new post in the evening of every day from now on, unless some terrible occurrence in my life dictates that I should be away from my beloved computer for a night.

With that, I shall bid you adieu.

Bye for now, readers!

Elliott Rogers, novice blog writer extraordinaire.