Day 74 & 75: The 9th and 10th of October

Well, I guess I can’t really hide the fact that I didn’t post yesterday at this point. I’ve just been so busy that I have collapsed in bed most nights.

So I want to give a brief recap of the past two days. Not that much happened of interest today, thank the lord. The main thing I can remember about yesterday was something that annoyed me. Those blog posts are typically fun and long, so I’ll go with that.

Before I continue I just want to say that the issues I’m planning on talking about in this post could be considered a bit controversial. As usual, if you don’t want to read that sort of thing then just skip on.

I was chatting with the people I met at university about having to commute in. That is the sort of boring conversation I now have to deal with on a regular basis. Oh well. What I wouldn’t give to have friends who understand me and my lifestyle at university. It may happen one day.

Anyway, we got onto the topic of inconveniences when commuting and I mentioned people who commit suicide via train. Now, obviously suicide is a tragic thing that we should try to prevent by helping people. I understand that and it is an important thing to think about. But when I mentioned that committing suicide using a train was not only inconvenient but also downright selfish, this guy I was talking to said I was a dick.

It was about at this point when I realised that this guy was some kind of social justice warrior to the most annoying degree. He told me that he might break my nose over saying that sort of thing. I mean, seriously now. Who has ever had a reasonable opinion and has only had the option of violence?

So I insisted. I said that using a train not only causes delays for the majority of commuters, which is not a nice thing to do, but it also scars the driver for life. I don’t want anyone to have to resort to committing suicide, but surely there are lots of methods that don’t ruin other people’s days/lives.

My anger was only further stoked when he said something along the lines of ‘Well, then the train driver would jump in front of a train too’, in a sort of offhand attempt at humour. Which not only has nothing to do with my point, but is also worst on terms of political correctness than what I said. Yet, because I wasn’t always siding with the suicidal, I was the bad guy in the eyes of the group.

I mean, this guy has shown himself to be a bit annoying for the past week. He seems to be a complete socialist who hates any form of government and does not hesitate to proclaim his views on communism and the ‘rise of the working man’ to all who will stand to listen for more than five minutes. He spends the majority of the time forcing political viewpoints onto everything in your life even if it has very little actual importance.

This kind of person annoys me, since they seem to think that they know better than everyone else in the world; constantly exclaiming about how ‘people these days are too apathetic’ when in reality people just want to live their own lives and not worry about starting a revolution or whatever he blabs on about. Furthermore he also loves insulting people to a great extent just for the sake of humour.

I’m sorry, but I don’t particularly find it funny to be called a ‘fucking asshole’ thirty times a day, even if it is in jest. I prefer to have friends who actually give a damn.

So, back on topic. His arguments involved the fact that people may want to kill themselves quickly and without pain, thus using trains. Also, people may just be at the train station and do it on a whim. Now, neither of these really fly for me as arguments for sympathy.

For starters, these arguments completely discount the fact that their death is deliberately being used to cause further misery to everyone involved. Furthermore, I am pretty sure there are other painless methods of death. In all fairness, getting hit by a train sounds like a pretty horrific way to go. I told him in response that at least the person committing suicide is dead now, they don’t have to live with the knowledge of being a killer, for example. So he said ‘Well, what about the suicidal person, they have had to live for a long time in pain.’

Honestly? Well, yeah. They do. But the fact still stands that they leave behind so much more suffering when they go. And the final nail in the coffin is that he refused to debate further. He pretty much put his hand on my shoulder and said ‘We can talk about this another time’. How patronising can you be?

Now, I understand that he may have reasons for his arguments and he may feel completely justified, but he has still been rubbing me the wrong way. I don’t really think that any of the people I have spoken to are my kind of people, though I may just have to lower my standards.

I kind of feel justified to put in my two cents though, especially since I have lived around depression for a long time in my life. Hell, my life has felt pretty shitty lately too. Being a good person means treating everyone equally. You can’t treat people with extra special care just because they are in your eyes ‘the underdog’. It sucks if people are depressed or suicidal and they should be given help. But to write off anything they do as completely justified is essentially writing off their responsibility as humans.

There are many arguments that say that suicide can be selfish, in many circumstances. A parent committing suicide, leaving their children to fend for themselves. A child leaving his parents and siblings with grief for the rest of their lives. The mere act of committing suicide and then letting an innocent bystander have to witness death firsthand. None of these things are good or right.

But at the same time I am not discounting the fact that for many of these people, they can’t think of anything else to do. Depression is a mental illness and requires people to help others through it. Truly these things can’t be classified as anyone’s fault.

If you want to blame my bias that I have against self-harming and suicide on anything, blame it on my ex-girlfriend. Due to that whole scenario I pretty much lost all my sympathy for that sort of thing and it has taken many years to start to get it back.

So yeah, that was the controversial stuff I wanted to talk about. I’m not sure if I made all the points that I wanted to, since I essentially wrote all that down in anger. No matter.

I’m sure I could think of some other annoyances in my past week, but I’ll save that for next time. After all, I’m sure me ranting isn’t particularly interesting to read, even if it is nice to let it all out.

The more I think about it, the more it annoys me, so I’m just going to stop here and go do something else. Please don’t hate me for my views, even if they aren’t shared by you. After all, I’d like to think that I care about practically everyone equally. I just wish people would listen to what I have to say without shooting me down just because I sound vaguely politically incorrect. I promise I am trying to make a legitimate point.

Goodnight everyone. I’ll see you tomorrow evening for my next post.

Elliott Rogers, novice blog writer extraordinaire.

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