Day 175: The 18th of January

I’m dying.

My brain is so heavy with cases and there are still a couple of the things that I am unsure of. I will be taking some notes with me to look at while I wait for the exam, so that should help, but the state of panic is starting to take hold. I really shouldn’t worry about the what-ifs, its not like I can change the future.

Another thing I worry about is waking up in time to be ready for Ben. He is very kindly giving me a lift to the station tomorrow morning, at which point I shall have to buy a ticket and hop on the train with the commuters. So many things to be ready for, it is filling my brain.

In other news, my sister had her first scan today and we found out that the baby exists! It has a head and everything and it seems pretty active, by the sounds of things. That was a little bit of good news to soften today’s agonising plod.

In regards to exams and me, in the run up to an exam I pretty much shut out everything else. I can’t concentrate on conversations, I can’t concentrate on doing fun stuff; I just constantly feel uneasy, as if I could be spending my time better. This leads to a spiral of me becoming less and less motivated and more and more distant from everyone else. I will suddenly be fine after next week’s exam is out of the way. Even after tomorrow I will feel better, as I have 8 days to revise for Criminal.

I think I will try and get an early night tonight. It is probably for the best, I will just worry myself into a lather otherwise. Plus, I will be extra awake for the pain of tomorrow, with no sleep deprivation to dull the blow. Also I will probably remember cases better that way…

So, I’m going to finish up now and go to bed soon. Just need to pack a small bag to take with me on the train. I’ll see you guys tomorrow night, at which point I’ll explain all about the exam. Wish me luck once more!

Elliott Rogers, novice blog writer extraordinaire.



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