Day 200: The 12th of February

It’s finally here. The 200th daily post of this blog. I honestly can’t believe I’ve been doing this for more than half a year.

First of all, I’d like to thank all of my readers once again. It is nice to know that someone reads these, even if I don’t have anything interesting to say. I do not show my gratitude enough for this. Who knows if I would have got this far without knowing that someone bothers to look at this blog?

We have been through a lot in the past 200 days. I started off relaxed in my summer holidays and my posts have led through me starting university, completing my first semester and now starting my second semester of university. It seems so very long ago that even my A-level results were yet to be seen.

I spent that brief period writing short pieces here. That was an exhausting but useful experience, if only because it kept the spark of my creativity glowing in my heart, even if I won’t be using it for a while now. It is just a shame that I am awful at writing, I guess.

We have been through the highs and the lows of me struggling through single life, mourning my own uselessness when it comes to interacting with people. Nothing shall change in that regard for some time to come though, so I shall not dwell for long.

And now I have some things I have thought about during my commutes into Guildford this past week. Particularly they relate to social interactions, so be warned that I have no perspective on the matter.

For starters, I find it impossible to figure out what I should be doing when I walk past someone on the pavement. I don’t want to look at my feet because that just makes me look shady, but I also don’t want to look at the person in the eyes because it is a little too close to my comfort zone. I mean, do people look at each other as they pass, or are we meant to pretend to be unaware of the other person? I tend to follow the latter strategy.

Also, recently I have just felt like everyone is watching me while I walk into university. I start judging everything I do and end up walking funny and manually breathing because I don’t want to seem creepy. And that only makes it worse, because then I feel as if they will be judging me for that. I am well aware that people don’t usually really care about others, but around people my own age, especially girls, I just get really paranoid.

Moving away from that, I have a theory regarding walking pace, in that people instinctively slow down or speed up if they know that someone is matching their pace whilst walking beside them. At least, that is what I do, so as not to be walking side-by-side with another person. My walking speed is quickly increasing back to its regular levels now, so I tend to breeze past the other students.

I have a lot of stories I want to add to this post. Just general stories, nothing weird. But I misjudged the time quite impressively tonight and honestly I need to get to bed. Let us wait with bated breath for the 250 – 300 – 365 days milestones, I am sure they will be here before we know it.

Elliott Rogers, novice blog writer extraordinaire.

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