Day 403: The 2nd of September

Well today was quite the thing.

Mostly it was a pretty fun, although tiring experience. The main portion of the daylight was spent just chilling out on the old laptop. Eventually I managed to get up and get washed and dressed, though it took a little while.

In the early parts of the evening, it was just Emma, Ben and I. My parents had gone to visit the family friend whose house I had stayed at previously during university. This gave us time to eat up some delicious pizza and watch many episodes of MLP. Not enough though. Never enough.

After this one of the gang arrived, Alex, and we walked up to CJ’s, where we had been invited for an evening of frivolity. And the evening started out with just that. We all sat down on the balcony area, got some drinks and generally chilled out.

Then, things took an interesting turn. Alex has not been feeling… happy with how his life is going at the moment. This is mainly due to a girl, unsurprisingly. A girl who has no problem playing with people’s feeling as long as she gets her lovin’ as far as I can tell.

Ah well, I don’t like to judge people. I feel like I can be a little bit judgemental when they get one of my friends to threaten suicide via bridge-fall though. The majority of the group quickly hurried after him, to dissuade him from this course of action. Turns out he came back when we were gone.

After that we decided to all walk back to his house with him. Along the way he fell over and cut his chin open on the floor, then when we neared his road he ran off down the 2 mile path to the next town. So half of us went after him, while the others waited at the entrance.

After about 20 minutes of walking we found him and brought him back, at which point we kept a close eye on him until he got home and let himself in. Then we all began the long walk back to each of our houses.

So, all in all, it was an interesting day. It also highlighted just how much better the girls are in the group at helping people through mental issues. I can’t stand there and say people aren’t talking crazy. I just can’t lie to people like that, even if that is what you need to do. I prefer to just tell the truth as I see it, bluntly and simply. It’s obviously not what he needs though.

So I feel like a pretty shitty friend. I can never stop joking around long enough to actually help anyone, apparently. I’m not even trustworthy enough to be someone that he would come to for help. It really hurts.

I get the feeling everyone feels that way though. We are all locked out of what Alex truly thinks about things. And instead he lets toxic people in like this girl.

And of course part of me is annoyed. That he had to become centre of attention for the evening. I can’t lie and say it didn’t phase me that the majority of the night is going to be remembered, not for just drinking too much, but for having to chase around a person who is throwing out suicide threats.

Hell, it is downright easy for me to feel envious. So much attention from young ladies who actually want to hear your problems and try to help. And he still blows it off and says no one can help him, despite not letting anyone try. It’s selfish, and it is human nature.

I feel like saying something like that makes me a terrible person on one hand, but on the other it feels nice. It is pretty cathartic. And as I have said, it is perfectly reasonable, in my opinion, for a person to put their own mental and physical health first. So screw it.

Before I say anything else though, there is one thing I would like to add. One of the girls did something that I can honestly say is beyond nice. Despite that we had just found Alex on a dark path, with blood on his hands and chin, she still took the time to ask if I was okay. Especially after Alex said that I had joked about his problems. She actually thought to ask if I was hurt by Alex’s behaviour. And that is enough to show that she is truly an excellent human being. And as one of Alex’s closest friends, I should have asked her if she was okay in response.

But alas, I didn’t think. Instead I just relied on her and felt just a little bit of joy that someone actually cared about me. Because it does hurt when a friend turns their back to your help.

All in all though, it was a pretty good evening. I think I needed the exercise. Plus I caught quite a few Pokémon and also hatched a number of eggs. All in a day’s work, really. And now it is 3:30 AM and I have been sitting around here doing nothing. Time to sleep, I feel.

Elliott Rogers, novice blog writer extraordinaire.

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