Do you ever get the feeling that no one cares what you think?
Yeah, me too. At least, I have felt that way for most of this evening. As I said in my earlier post, it started with this Skype group essentially ignoring my messages when replying to each other. Now, I didn’t mind this so much, since they are strangers and we set up the group to do a roleplaying game a while back.
Yet, when I went back to finish the film I had been watching, I decided to do what I did during the first half. I basically did a running commentary in another group chat of people who had already seen it. The first half was pretty good, it was mostly me ranting about tiny plot points in order to seem vaguely humourous, with the other guys jumping in now and then to respond.
Still, I guess I was only doing it because I like the sound of my own voice. Or at least I’m sure that is what they thought. What I was actually trying to do was inspire some debate, like we used to have over television programmes. It is nice to discuss things you have seen or done together. So I began as usual by talking about interesting points in the movie.
Silence. Pretty much nothing all the way through. Now, while I understand that no one is obliged to respond when I am essentially just ranting (in their eyes; I was actually just analysing the film in much more depth than was necessary) but it still hurts when your friends; who you know are online given that they are talking to people in the other Skype chat, won’t even respond.
Now, I understand very well their mindset, in that they don’t want to ‘argue’ with me, or whatever. Either that or they just don’t care about what I’m talking about. Hell, I probably wouldn’t have minded if they hadn’t said anything at all, I would have just thought that they were busy doing more important things.
All I really want to say is… Well I feel I’m the only one in my group with any passion anymore. At least any passion in a positive sense. After all, as soon as I finished what I was saying about the film my other friend posts a huge rant about how terrible university is and instantly gets replies exclaiming how enjoyable it was to read.
Speaking of this… WHY BOTHER GOING TO UNIVERSITY IF YOU ARE JUST GOING TO MOAN ABOUT IT BEING BORING OR AWFUL OR STUPID OR WHATEVER. OPEN YOUR EARS AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH FOR ONCE AND MAYBE THE LECTURES WON’T SEEM SO SIMPLE AND DULL TO YOU ANYMORE. MAYBE YOU WILL ACTUALLY LEARN SOMETHING AND STOP ACTING LIKE YOU KNOW IT ALL ALREADY. MAYBE YOU WILL LEARN TO APPRECIATE HOW NICE IT IS LIVING ON CAMPUS WHEN YOU HAVE TO GET UP EXTRA EARLY TO GET TO LECTURES IN TIME AND YOU HAVE TO DO YOUR OWN COOKING AND CLEANING ON TOP OF ALL THE WORK. BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT YOUR NEXT TWO YEARS ARE GOING TO BE. ENJOY WHAT YOU’VE GOT, YOU LUCKY BASTARD.
And yet, people actually talk to this guy about this all the time. I guess I just feel jealous since whenever I start talking on Skype at the moment I seem to just get people messaging back with ‘Okay’ at the most. I feel like a ghost, stepping through the world with no one even bothering to notice my presence. And I can’t even say anything because I don’t want anyone to feel bad!
If people put any of their extreme passion towards how unfair life is or whatever into something positive for a change, maybe this world would be a happier place. I know I’d be happier. In all fairness though, I sound like a hypocrite. This blog is all about how unfair life is, I guess.
So yeah. It’s rare that I get something that makes me write two posts in one day, but I really wanted to say something about this today. Sorry if this is pretty ranty, I’ll tag it as such when I post it.
Elliott Rogers, novice blog writer extraordinaire.